"it" just moved
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
