he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
