check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
