K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
