Don't you send me to vm
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize