I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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