I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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