never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
