How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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