New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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