The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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