So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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