I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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