areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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