its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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