haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
