I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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