I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
