drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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