I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
