u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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