Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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