There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's official drugs can't kill me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
