No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
