I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
