stop calling my apartment porn island.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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