Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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