There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
