I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
His hands were made for my vagina.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
