is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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