If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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