The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
