is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
