Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize