with your own penis?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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