My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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