New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
