So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
