She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
