He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
