There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
