How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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