Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
