I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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