does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
