I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
