I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We’re leaving where are you
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