She's JV to your varsity
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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