fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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