Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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