So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
