Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
