Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
