you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
