One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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