Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
