There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
