Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize