You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize
