K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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