you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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