Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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