for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize