i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize