I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
