That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize