I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
